Distinguish threats and challenges
Help your child regulate for better learning
LEARNING TIP
Learning requires us to be well-regulated. We typically think of this as not being stressed or upset, but learning is definitely stressful sometimes - as we can probably all attest to! The trick is to consider this stress as inherent to a challenge - a challenge you will overcome and be rewarded for. This is different from thinking of this learning stress as a threat - the evolutionary equivalent of facing down a sabre tooth tiger.
So how do you help your child make this shift? Consider a combination of these approaches:
First, regulate. Breathe deep, bring them a blanket or hot tea. Get their attention to a comfortable present rather than a perceived scary future.
Then reminisce about times they’ve overcome challenges in the past - be it with learning or with other activities. Prompt them to highlight and remember the rewards (ex. emotions, praise, results) they got from overcoming those challenges.
Talk through the physiological stress response they were experiencing. Explain that their body was preparing them to fight or run away from something life-threatening - like a tiger or a lion. Have a laugh (this is key!) at how unlike those threats their current learning task is and encourage them to recognize how overblown their body’s reaction was to that stressor.
Finally, bring their attention back to those challenges they’ve overcome in the past and how they felt leading up to them. Encourage them to consider this learning task in the same light. There may still be some discomfort (similar to being at one’s edge or pushing oneself beyond what’s comfortable), but this is the thrill of knowing progress, growth, and rewards are around the corner once this challenge is overcome.
Make sure to celebrate their resilience and perseverance and offer them appropriate supports (ie. a Thrive coach, perhaps?) and resources to supplement their efforts!
Does this sound familiar? You may be relating this to a growth mindset or the idea of positive stress. Check out these resources to dive a bit further: